Intentional Parenting

This is post is for anyone who proclaims to be a follower or a believer of Jesus Christ. If this doesn't fit you that is ok but I hope that after you read this you may re consider becoming a believer. You can choose not to read it and that too is ok.  If that is you, I hope you will make a decision to follow Jesus. (HE is awesome! You should try him) 

I remember growing up and loving to go to church with my grandparents. I grew up with loving parents but following Christ was not modeled in my home. I learned about Jesus through my grandparents. I now look back at the fact that my grandparents would re arrange their schedules to meet up places and decide who would pick me up and who would drop me off to or from church. I learned how to serve in the church from them.  I love my parents, but when I meet students who come to church by themselves and not with family members they live with, I see myself in them. My family would come on special occasions. 

FAST FORWARD....That was a little back story to help you understand where I am going. I am now serving in the local church beside my husband in Students Ministry. I now know that my journey has helped me to have compassion and empathy for youth. It is my passion and I am going to continue on assignment until God gives me another. 

Parents I plead you to value the local church.  Yes the local church is made up of people that have flaws, but this is the best present you could ever give your child(ren).  Better than any iPad, airpods, and the next hot item on the shelf. If you are secure about your salvation don't be selfish and not be concerned about their salvation. If you are not secure about your salvation, this is still a perfect time to progress your family together.   A sense of urgency is necessary. Jesus will return. I'll put it this way. Your job is to teach your child(ren) to love the Lord with all their heart, mind and soul.  (Deuteronomy 11: 18-19).  Anything else in addition is what we call "Lagniappe" in New Orleans. Yes. NOLA is my 2nd home since attending college in the city (Dillard University...I know someone would ask) LOL.  Seriously though. If you make sure that your student attends school daily, dressed and ready without any hesitation, surely we all need to do the same for the local church. 

If you haven't found a local church that fits your family find one that does. I would encourage you to find a church that has something for your student. I had a mentor tell me once that you do not give your child an option to bathe or not so you shouldn't give your children an option of whether they should go to the local church or not. 

We like points so here are some tips to help you to connect with your tween (10-12) and teen (13-18:

1. Allow a safe place for your student to talk. They have questions but don't feel that they can talk to their parents. 
2. Be honest about your faith. Where did it begin? Where are you? 
3. Model your faith in front of them. This generation is not falling for the "do as I say, not as I do".  If anything else they will view as hypocritical. 
4. Build relationships with the leaders that have influence over them. 
5. Pray over your children. The enemy is busy and your baby is distracted with so many "bells and whistles".

I know this may be hard but we cannot continue to do the same thing expecting different results. Your legacy is at stake.  Let that be a question for you this year: What do I want to leave as my legacy? Money will go, clothes will fade...……

Daniel Fast with Kids

Some have asked about what we dinner looks like for Asquared as Rance and I are doing the Daniel Fast corporately with our church.
First of all the girls are on a modified version of the fast because to be honest I am not willing to cook two separate meals daily. Asquared is still eating bread, snacks and cheese but they haven't had any meat. We also are working on teaching them The Lord's Prayer. Also asking them what are some things that they want to pray about. They amaze me of how they think of others. Especially their grandparents. 💜

Here are some of the dinner meals that we have had that Asquared would eat.

3 Bean Chili (black, white and dark red kidney beans)
Black beans and corn tacos
Guacamole and homemade corn chips
Black bean and cheese tacos
Broccoli, mushrooms, brown rice with soy sauce (salt,pepper, Ginger to taste) Asquared won't eat the mushrooms so I picked them out
Baked Potatoes
Brown Rice Spaghetti Pasta with crushed tomatoes and basil, spinach and mushrooms.

Even though Addisyn is 5 (almost 6) and Abbye is 7, it is not too early for them to learn about prayer and fasting. They probably don't understand everything, but talking to them about it shows me they are learning.

You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up.
Deuteronomy 11:19 NASB

New Me, New Year

Wow. I have not written since 2015. I'm wondering what caused me to stop. Oh I know. Straight disobedience and fear of reactions!

Well I'm back. January 3, 2019

I'm not sure how often I will write but I do know that I have been disobedient about starting back again. Honestly I typically do not want to offend anyone so instead of saying anything I have learned to remain silent. I've learned that is not what God has called me to do.

Last year my word for the year was change and man did I experience CHANGE! This year my words are fearless and obedience.

So I sincerely apologize for my disobedience because I am sure by me holding back that caused someone not to learn from my experiences.

New Year, New Me. That's the thing in the new Year, right? Well that is all fine, but remember to do your part.

Pray about what your goals should be before determining your goals.

Live in community with people who can hold you accountable.

PRAY about EVERYTHING.

Talk to you all soon.

How will you LIVE?

Rich Quin passed on Sunday January 11, 2015 at the age of 36 after battling colon cancer.

I have wanted to express my feelings and thoughts about Rich, but it was just too hard to write.  Perhaps I was hoping it was all a dream.   No. Rich was not healed on this side but my belief is he is healed now.  

Then God led me to Isaiah 55: 8-9 NLT

8 My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Instead of me trying to understand Rich not being here anymore I decided to be thankful for the impact Rich had on my family. I am thankful that our paths crossed even for the limited amount of time.   I know he can't read this, but maybe this will help his family as they begin their journey of life without him. Please continue to pray for his family.

Romans 12:15 NIV Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Dear Rich,


Thank you Rich for showing us all that we CHOOSE how we will live life despite our circumstances. You reminded me to be ALL IN especially in my walk with Jesus.

Thank you Rich for being a genuine friend to my husband Rance.  I remember the first time we met you and Kim right before our prayer time at Heartland; you and Rance immediately began talking about sports. Go Figure! He values sincere friendship and you will never be forgotten.  I believe you both held each other accountable to be godly men for your families.    He could always count on you to give him a hard time about the New Orleans Saints. You always gave us great suggestions about food. Boy am I a foodie so I really looked forward to the suggestions.  I am sure Rance has so much more to say about your friendship.

I hate that you were unable to take those pictures you wanted to take of my family.  When you offered I honestly thought to myself, "Is he serious?"

Thank you Rich for caring about others even during your time of need.  Your life had purpose and you my friend fulfilled that purpose.  You lived boldly, you fought a good fight!

Thank you to the family for sharing Rich with all of us.  Lessons learned.

Ponder on the question:  How will you choose to live? 

I'm UNCOMFORTABLE!

I have had so many ideas about my next topic, but I have been in an awkward place lately.

You know that uncomfortable feeling when you have been standing on your feet so long and  you are just ready to sit.  You want to get comfortable whatever that may mean to you.  Yes I know that feeling oh too well.

Lately I have felt that way on more than one occasion. When we moved to Dallas it wasn't under the best circumstances, but we are here and God had a plan that we couldn't even see.  Now it is time to find a new place to live which also requires us to look into schools. I find myself frustrated and telling God I just want to be settled.  I like to be comfortable.  Don't we all? We buy clothes, shoes, furniture based on how comfortable it makes us feel.  I am uncomfortable because I feel as though I am standing,  waiting in anticipation for God to tell me to move.  I don't care if it is right, left, or forward. You know what? God does care.  He loves me that much.  Stop getting so uncomfortable that you are about to make wrong decisions.

 I am reminded of Luke 9:57- 58 NLT As they were walking along, someone said to Jesus, "I will follow you wherever you go." But Jesus replied, Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place even to lay his head."


So after reading those two scriptures several times I had to check myself. I had this plan of how my life would go and it has totally been opposite of what I thought it would be like. I really wanted a career where I traveled throughout the world.  So I thought. I laugh thinking about it.  I thought at one point I wanted to do disaster management. Seriously, I am not joking.  I said I was never going to get married.  I have been married 6 years. I said I wasn't having kids, and then miraculously I had a desire to have a baby.  My oldest will be 3 on April 25th, and the youngest is 1. Even though this wasn't the life I had planned it is the most rewarding. I am a wife and mother daily, my greatest purpose.  I impact them  and they will impact their families.  That is legacy!

  I know we live in a society that wants us to believe that this life is forever and that when you die that is the end. Sorry but that is a lie. send me a comment or Email me if you have questions.  This place meaning earth is really not my home. It is temporary.  Once I realize that wholeheartedly everything else seems so insignificant.  It doesn't change my desires, but it helps with my contentment.  I know that God loves me and nothing that he has for me will harm me. This is my daily speech to myself.  You should try it to.  I quote Jeremiah 29:11 many times because it encourages me more than I could ever imagine.

So I told Jesus I would follow him, I would surrender to his plans for my life.  I will be uncomfortable because I didn't design any of these plans. HE knows better than me, HE never fails, HE is faithful!

HOW TO BE PERFECT?

I know that title got most of your attention.  10 steps to being perfect. Yeah right! It is a joke people.

There are NO Steps for you to be perfect. It is not happening.  Truthfully no one is perfect but Jesus.  As I was sitting in marriage class yesterday I zoned in on those words. I have heard it before, I knew that it was true, but at that moment that was all I could hear.  Maybe I needed to be reminded of that.  Matthew 5:48 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.  
Of course I had to do some homework on the definition. I normally don't write when I look up Greek translations, but then I realized we study everything else we definitely need to get in the habit of studying God's word.   I started thinking what does this word mean in the Greek, clearly God is not trying to tell us that we are perfect.  I knew that was not the case.  According to Strong's Concordance, "perfect" in the Greek is teleios  (tel'-i-os) meaning complete in all its parts, full grown, of full age, completeness of Christian character.  
Now I am no theologian or anything, but from this definition I gather we need to become more spiritually mature.  

Babies don't stay babies, they do grow up.  You can't eat baby food forever. Chew on that!

People will FAIL you.  People will HURT you.  Only you can control how you will respond. I have learned so much about offering people grace. Give people some leeway.  I never really understood how to do that, but then I am reminded of all the times God forgives me and gives me grace I don't deserve. We always wan God to give us grace.  There is nothing we can do to earn it either.  How dare I not do the same for someone else?
I am reminded of Matthew 6: 15   15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

These are some of  the cliches I've heard that will not help us to forgive and show grace to others.  

• I forgive and don't forget- this takes time but you can't continue to bring the offense up
• You  hurt me once, but you won't hurt me twice-No we are not a doormat, but if we are genuinely being relational we will get hurt, or offended at times. 
• I can't forgive that one

I have to seriously check myself when I want to justify why I shouldn't forgive.  Sometimes I ask questions like " Why does this keep happening?" "You just don't understand God" That last question makes me laugh now.  Yeah I am sure we have it so much harder than Jesus did.  I mean have any of you been nailed to a cross lately? I am just saying. It really does put things in a different perspective. 

There is no justification.  Jesus forgives me for everything, even things people don't even know about. OUCH!! 

I'm Ready To Fight!

I know you really thought I was about to fight someone LOL! NOT literally that is. 

If you have siblings I am sure you have had a "play fight" a time or two. Maybe you do not have siblings, but cousins or a best friend will do as well.  Generally kids start play fighting very early, often finding it quite hilarious.  We all know when you play fight you don't fight hard because you are not trying to hurt the other person. Just simply having fun.  I don't want to sound super spiritual, but we really should believe that we are fighting an enemy who is coming for blood. This is not some character with red horns just trying to scare you. I can't stress this enough.  I told my husband we are trying to fight the enemy with fly swatters instead of swords! Come prepared to fight.  You  have to be dressed in your gear to fight. I challenge you

Now I bring this up because lately I am hearing the word prayer thrown around like we say "sorry" with no meaning.  OUCH!  I know God has plans for my family, and that Satan would rather kill, steal, and destroy them.  Therefore, I will fight for my husband, children, parents, friends, and even acquaintances. My prayer life in the last year has changed drastically! I often wonder how hard we pray when we say "I am praying for you?" Just imagine if we prayed for others like we pray for ourselves.   We really should stop being so passive about prayer.  As Pastor Dusty always says, let's stop saying "The least I can do is pray for you, when actually the best thing you can do is pray." 

I remember in the beginning days of my marriage I was terrible.  Always yelling, screaming to get my way. Very selfish, that is another topic for another day.   Needless to say that didn't work.  We all have passion and drive when it is something that we want. Pastor Dan says it so well  "I AM NOT GETTING WHAT I WANT!" All conflict stems around this common theme.  I am grateful that when my husband and I reach conflict that we cannot handle, we both know that we have to pray. This was NOT always the case. PRAYER IS EVERYTHING! 

1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray Continually

Continually derived from Continual is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary as happening again and again within short periods of time.  In my mind this means I really should be praying whenever possible.  No one is saying be weird about it by trying to pray at every second of the day because that is not possible. However, be genuine with your prayers. When you say you will pray for someone, PRAY FOR SOMEONE.  Surround yourself with a great support system.  Do you have someone you can call and ask to pray with you? 

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

1. Pick a Time to pray everyday, this creates discipline
2. Pray about everything and not just some things
3. Believe/Pray with your heart 
4. Be Honest with God
5. Get a Support System/Accountability Partner

Pray for me, I am praying for you.  Pray hard as though your life is dependent upon it. 

When I say I am praying for you know I am giving my best.